Give them roots so their dreams can take flight…
May 14, 2022
Zachary all smiles as he receives his high school diploma.
My older son, Zachary, graduated from high school this past weekend. It was a dream come true for all of us, but what struck me, was the wave of emotions I felt. In 2015, when I was in coaching school, we learned to use the emotion wheel to help our clients process what they are feeling. This weekend, I found myself using this tool on myself as I tried to process the mixture of joy, awe-struck, grief, agitation, worry, peace, hope, pride, and at least a dozen other emotions. The one word I finally settled on was “bittersweet.”
We expect that when our dreams come true, the one emotion we will experience is joy. The reality is that moving forward always means that we leave something behind, and with that comes a sense of loss. Even though the reward for changing is greater than the pain of leaving something behind, it doesn’t mean we don’t grieve that loss. So, I guess as my son moves into adulthood, it is only normal that we would grieve the childhood he is leaving behind. After all, he really was a cute little boy.
Zachary 1-year old
Look at that smile.
I suppose it’s not that different in the business world. Today, I was doing an executive assessment for a senior leader in a Fortune 500. At the end of the section on her strengths was a powerful question on which strengths she would need to let go of in order to progress in her career - the age old “what got you here, won’t get you there.”
As I tried to process my emotions this weekend, my mother-in-law served as my oracle. With 37-years in education (15-years teaching middle/high school, 10-years as a middle school guidance counsellor and 12-years as an elementary school principal), she has earned the title of wise sage when it comes to parent whispering. She shared with me a powerful quote:
Yes, she definitely has it right. Over the past 18 years, my husband and I have had the task, no, the privilege, to provide our son a moral compass that includes values, goals, and faith. Now that he has those roots to ground him, it is time for us to not just let him spread his wings to fly, but to encourage him to do this. It is time.
So, my precious-sweet-not-so-baby-boy, as bittersweet as it may be for your father and me, it is time for you to fly, and we know you will fly high. So spread your wings and do what you were created to do. Go out there and take the world by storm, but never forget your roots because we will always be here with our arms spread wide, just as our parents were here for us and you will be here for your children. We love you.
